27 August, 2013

08/26/2013

Note: I believe this may have been my longest consecutive session of meditation and observation that I have documented . It varies quite a bit in topic. The first hour or so was spent discussing things with a friend.

11:24. The Aubergine Of The Sun - Ott

 <3 Hehehe.

 I imagine that what I feel when I am meditating is how a pocessor feels when you overclock it.

 Smart shift asist in standard vehicles. Cut gears at a curve or angle that can allow it to engage a shift? I have no idea. :/ I guess you just have to buy automatic… Unless you buy an electric car! One gear motherfucker, VROOM!

 12-10-ish
To decode a numbers station, you must record the entire transmission between code exchanges. Then play those recording at 50x/100x/200x/Xx (;p) And then listen to how it sounds. That will decode one of the two messages. Either the one before or the one after, depending on where you join in recording. You may have to do up to two full rotations before you are able to decode an entire message. Just a theory. :) -A-12-14ish

 1:27 ish

 If we let technology in we will never know the true meaning of nature. Diving deep into science will slowly begin to bring you further and further away from the nature and the laws we know until we hit the breaking point. Upon which, we begin to forget about those laws and barriers and build upon them, until one day, we start to stop remembering. That is the day we expand. The day we stop remembering, when everything is ok. That is the point in which we move beyond what we know. Because we as humans can not ever know the true unknown of death, unless we die ourselves. Death is the space between the space between. A brain is just a ball of meat with a really strong static charge. Once we die, all of that remaining electricity is released in one big internal show, as pain drifts away. Upon those final minutes, we join as one back into the void of the soupy waters of the space between the dimensions. Then, once you find an openeing in the mesh, you can place yourself into it. We are just vibrating atoms upon a tightly woven vibrating mesh. (Insert silly sexual thing here -B) -A

 1:35

 I can only meditate alone. Noises, thoughts, they can all draw me out. It is only when I let go of my internal voice, does my meditation truely begin. I must be alone. ……….. I must be alone….. Or in an area of love and compasion that would embrace me. Always try to stretch to the next highest number. Don’t be in a 1.64 relationship. To obtain true joy, eachother must understand. Don’t let your goals be misguided. Just go for what you love, and hopefully you will find someone on that same journey. -A

 -138 - Amo Bishop Roden - Boards Of Canada
If we want to survive, we must all work to becoming ones. Learn to do what you need todo to be co,fprtle. trying to otlearn to typ roper hurtds owwwownnnnwwwwwwwWWI!!!!!1 fuckk ouch my hands are so taunt, for the first time in months upon months I don’t have tremors! 
That’s not paind! That’s me expanding my tendons to allow me to be able to work as I should. With passion. I feel it. I feel smooth. I feel like I can do no wrong. Yet I don’t mean that in the typical sense. I honestly believe I am not a bad enough person to do something so severly wrong it is beyond my thoughts of just. It is an interesting thought when you come to terms with we are only as bad or as good as we have always grown to be. Bad isn’t playing rough. Bad isn’t being a child and stealing cookies from a store. It is the mid years. The years in which they begin to relize what pain really is. They begin to feel. Emotions. So many, it makes them feel emotionless where it counts; in undying love and compassion. We never need to lose that love and compassion. We as humans have the power to love one another for the sake that we are all “alive” in a large sense. Take only that of what you need. Want is a interesting idea. To want hard enough, is to need. It all moves slowly from one section to another. I think we should never be limited in that in which we live. if we want something, we should be able to ask to exchange. It is not theft, but it is person to person. There is no controle over the market or currency, there is no true physical currency. Do what you love, and people will help you. Live as family. Be where you want to be. If we are all working toward being better and happier, beyond the wealth, and for the sake of loving life, we could all become whole. We could smile, and love unconditionally. No religion, just eachother. And Technology is bringing us close to that. It really is. The more we can harness electricity to keep us alive and make us more comfortable, we will be able to step away from the workbench from 9-5:30 everyday, and life would go as it should. There could be little need for anything beyond a slim group of people, that could come in whenever they wanted to help. Explore your dreams, else we will forget who we are. I love you branden, I know you will read this one day soon, and when you do, please know that even if you forget me, you know how to find me. Just remember how we got here, remember the steps and we will always come back together. I will miss you for now………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. -B -A -1:53ish

 2:02:ish-----------
The only thing I hate about prostitution is terrible fathers (and mothers), terrible cleanliness, terrible pimps, and terrible environments. I think the next step should be a Fucking Hair Salon, men and women show and ask to get a nice Rimm?! If you make something illegal it only makes it dirty, and disgusting. -B

 Be comfortable, be comfortable relax relax lodeifrinf awsat. uuu -Deep Honey-Goldfrapp 2:12-
let go branden, DOJN’T CORRRECT THE TIMES YOU IGNORANT FUCK! LISTEN TO ME! DON”T FIX IT JUST KEEP GOING DON”T STOP NOW YOU PIECE OF CLOWN DICK! JUST FUCKING LET GO AND BE HAPPY! DON”T SIT HERE IGNORANT IGNORING YOUR PROBLEMS! JUST GIVE IN WITHE THE FLOW AND ENJOY! THERE IS NOTHING TO DISCOVER PAST KNOWING THIS IS WHAT WE MUST DO< UNTIL WE GET THERE> SOME WILL WORK< SOME WILL PLAN! ACCEPT IT! BE WHERE YOU LOVE TO BET! HAHAHAHAHA>>>>>>! YOU DON”T KNOW ME! -body cold- YOU ARE WHAT THEY CONSIDER YOU YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT VAGINAL FAGGOT MOTHER FUCKER! TAKE THE WORDS AND EAT THEM UNTIL YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! YOU ARE DAGSHITONAHORSESSOCKAND I HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YYOUYYYYYYYYYYYGRGSGW$REGFF#@$#@$G#$G#############################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################$%#$%#$%#$%#$%#$%#%$%#$%#$%#$%#$% #$%#$%#$%#$%#$%#$%IPFOEN#$%#$%#$%#$%#$%#$%#$%#$%#$%#$%U#PFOEN@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@$##$@#$$@#$@#$@#$@#$UP FOEN@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$$@#$@#$@#$@#$UP DFOEMN#@$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@$#@#$@#$@#$@#$UPFFOEN#$@@#$@#$$#RETRTWRWG@#F@FsgGsdgdfgdgd -Aura -2:19-

 Well that was fucking interesting. Hehehe, heart is racing still. Love thy body, love thy other’s body, love thy natures body, love thy social body. In that order. The path to world love. If you just let go and enjoy the show we are all just shapes in a floating space inowthing more. So if we let go we can see the workld in ways we wnt. Just focus on your internal love. And external love shall come. Don;t subumb to pain. enjoy it. Everything. WE are one branden. You write me in a third person only because you can not yyet accept me as your own self. If you like you can keep this channel open, you jusy aren;t there to be able to see me yet. It is hard to explain. If you work har d enough to become me you will and thnd then the time will be right. Don’t stop until you are happy. We all love you here. Because you are you and you qre euye i. i eye. Hehe well, ohh look! loot evertyone he sees us a little. Hehehe, That was cute. Oh bnoy yhrtr hr goessss, oh lord we got him tooo raised and now he is falling. Of no, environment too dismal, he is going. That was the best---- visit I have ever had. I met aura and aurura and I learned to not give a damn and be kind and I saw auraura with my own two eyes peaking through a mousehoal upward into a plane like that of lines of color on a white sheet of 3d rendering softwhere. In the shapes of things. but those things were… I don’t know. they were dim inside. like I couldn’ no. Past i don’t know, this way forward, I don’t know. Any memory of that event will be created from false memory. It is a defense mechanism to want to keep them coming back to that one moment. -B - Aura?

 2:28 - Treefingers - Radiohead-

 2:32 eyes closed I saw the lines of creation the vibrating atoms. I saw shapes and waves and frequencies. I felt my eyes seeing a black, a deeper black than I have ever seen with my eyes closed, and I could feel the perifrial feel around my eys gloing black as well. I belive if I didn’t have the urge to type this, I would have “blacked” out, in a much difference sense than people generally associate it with.

 There is no true sense of Aided Meditation. All Meditation is Aided, or else you are not truely meditating. You don’t have to sit on a rug in robes to Meditate. Some people will, but you are you. If your meditation is staring into a bonfire, sipping a few drinks, then that is how you Meditate. All Medetating is, is a group of functions that make you feel the most free. Living life to your one true goal. To make yourself happy. -2:35 -B -A/B (hard to make out a defined line. Very nice feeling though. It is both a Meditation and Observation I suppose. And Obsmertation? And Medservation? And whatever silly word you want to create to express your emotions. It all doesn’t matter as long as you can find join in each other. If you want to live amongst someone, try to learn and expand, not jumpt right in to someone else’s bubble and expect to fit right in. It is all in good fun. We have to aim to be happy, even in the darkest, stormies of skies and seas. Stay afloat my childddreeeennnnn -flowing on an ocean of waves- waaallkinnggg with meeeeee. Ig nore the ideaaasssssssss offofofoff Gggooooodddddsssssssssss. We don’t need it anymore to feel a purpose. It’s ok, no one will hate you for it once they understand the idea of science. No matter how dark it is we will always try to help in the name of finding an answer and pushing on. But what if failure dwindles to nothing? It either dies with they human carrying the torch, or he passes it on…-/spreadsdsxzds its out. the fire to others who want to hold on tight. people only fall off if they lose sight- Such a dark sky for 2:41. The only light is a dim hue at the window, and the electronics around me. To the forward left I my bright red keys and yellow lights on my keyboard. And my bright monitor, and the text changing at everyturn, and my second monitor from one of the nicest people I know. and my red mouse, and blue tower, with a little green led on my leaker between the two monitrs. My harnds are a-glow. The mark on my arm where I wanted to make a design, still bright. The only time I had ever hurt myself out of beauty and desire. Not in the typical way, but more of, I can’t afford to get this done, maybe I can try it myself, because body modification is amazing. Yeah, looks silly, like a kindtergartener would drawn after a week of art class after learning how to draw shapes. Like a wizards hat. But that mark is all my own. Just like my three tattoos, they tell a story. Maybe one day I can afford to geth the whole message shown proper. But until that day in which I can exchange money or good for a proper tattoo i feel comfortable about, my hands are tied. But, such are some parts of life. Thank you economy. 2:47. -B -A

 Wind rain terror parched soil drinking deep breeze moist, in my room, alone at my chair, praying someone was there. love stuck stuck at work and i feel these feelings about it. feelings i am ashamed of because i know her pain. i wish she was here, i hate the world for tearing us apart at a fundamental level. i’m not pussy whipped, i am a man expressing that his love goes so far for his woman that he doesn’t ever really want some time away from her. he just wishes she could accept the few faults she has with him so that she could be there too. even if she just laughed along to our new favorite song. Or sat aside, watching the blank stare of our focus of love, toki wartooth. holding eachother, until dusk sets in, wishing for nothing more than the smell of your morning breath. is it wrong to love so emotionally just because i can only express them at my times of meditation, because i am too afraid of what will happen if i do. not afraid of you, but afraid of sounding so mushy you get annoyed. i haven’t been able to stop myself recently, so now i say i love you more, and you get slightly annoyed around others, and it makes me feel sad, yet i know you want to be coy. so all is virtually forgivven. i hope that no mattter where we end up, we love eachother, and strive for the best of finding both worlds, and just accept and love even the things we can not quite understand in eachother. i will always love you with all of my mind. my heart is not sentient, so it can not do much, but it does push to keep the mind alive. i love you in all the senses, i love your touch, your smell, your sights, your speak, your thoughts. but I don’t know if you’re still true to yourself as i am too. - B/A -2:55 -wait-m83-

 Thunder is so loud. Her favorite weather is thunder and lightning. Her favorite force of nature, volcanoes. She is an idol built on the furious drive to become better. She demands to move amongts those of both paries, though as she grows older, she is accepting the fate of material. i know it is not in her to fully become what she never was. I know her and i I can come together in a world in which she is comfortable with. I hope we’re still together years from now, living with eachother not out of need, but out of want so strong you feel you could die without it. -B/A-3:00-Thunderstorm and rnning watter from the gutter. With unknown background songs with headphones placed around neck on jawline.-

 -3:10:ish/3:09:ish -B-

 If it is hard for you to think of an exact point, it's okay. Just work in steps trying to retrace the steps that have brought you to where you are now. If you ever need to chat man, I am really good at sounding like I have a Bachelors in Psychology, but really I have a Ph.D in Fuckall. But at lease I have a Ph.D, even if I made it made it up.

 Okay I will stop rambling and remind you. If you can't see the true reasons, you are either lieing to yourself, or you need to find a smaller step to get there.-3:11 -B-

 -3:31-

 Back to reality.